Dreadful holidays!! All of them!! Mother's day is by far the hardest because it's close to my beautiful boys angelversary. As we approach these days, the anxiety can sometimes be overwhelming. If I were monetarily wealthy, every holiday would be spent in the woods with my husband and dogs and away from all people. Unfortunately, I'm not and I can't just hide. Life has to keep happening. As life happens, I continue to find, or at least look for, some sort of peace during these times. I try to stay to myself and treat those days like any other. It's not easy. People worry about us and they want to make it better. They want to try and fill a little bit of that void, bring a smile to our faces, and I love them for that. However, sometimes the filling they give is jagged, itchy, and scratches my soul. They don't mean it, I know that. Heck, I don't want it to feel that way. Having a child transition back to the place that our soul came from is hard. It's just hard! There are no rules to follow for this. Our babies aren't born with an instruction book and we certainly don't get one if they go home before us.
